Journal Entry: Fri Mar 14, 2014, 10:45 AM
2014 isn't going so well... I hope it picks up soon and gets better. I tried to get back into school but had to drop out because of funds. My health isn't doing too well (trying to fix that), having bad luck with tooth pain at the same time. I feel like I'm spiraling down a drain some days. Been playing a lot of WoW and not doing much else besides call my caseworker for health care stuff. She has yet to get back to me, and it's been way too long. I haven't heard anything from her except one paper in the mail. I've called tons of people and they all tell me to call her. It's really a piss off. I need to get another procedure done, and I need to get my teeth fixed asap.
I've occasionally done sketches but nothing I like enough to post. It makes me really upset that I just... can't seem to draw. Like I've forgotten how. My writing on the other hand has gotten much better thanks to playing on an RP server on WoW. I honestly feel like playing that game has turned into a job. I help out all my clan mates (I'm not an officer but I've run rp events), and I'm always there if someone needs help. It's basically gotten to the point where I leave WoW on in the background while I surf the net and watch netflix.
My family isn't too happy about it, I'm not either but I need to get this health thing taken care of before I can start working. If I had a job I feel like it would be too big of a stress for me, I might be able to handle part time (which is all that anyone is hiring for anyways), but even still. I feel so useless right now I hate it. Things will get better, I know they will. I'm trying. My family has called me an embarrassment, and while I know that's true at the moment (c'mon 26 years old, still living with family), times are tough. I can't finish school because I can't get any help in doing so. I can't get a job and save up enough to finish school and I know that I'm not the only one out there with this problem. And even if I DID finish school, I'm not really sure what I want to do. All I know is that I want to move to Canada and live with my partner. But beyond that I'm like... drawing a blank. I sit here and wonder, should I be a teacher? Do they even need teachers up in Canada? Would I even be a good teacher? I'd love to be a director, but realistically... I'm not going to be able to make money off of that unless if I get super lucky. And I'm not a lucky person at all.
The one thing I CAN count on is my creativity. I apologize for not being all that active... but I promise I'm not gone! I really need to finish my stories and get them published. I feel like becoming an author is my only hope! lol
Drinking: Green tea